The Fifth Season
Summary:
This narrative reflects on the pivotal moments in the author's life, beginning with an international internship in Bulgaria at 29, which opened up a world of travel and personal growth. Six years later, a friendship-turned-domestic partnership granted him access to discounted flights through Delta, leading to numerous international adventures. The story touches on themes of growth, loss, joy, and self-discovery, as the author weaves his personal journey with reflections on life’s seasons, particularly the “5th season,” a concept inspired by Mark Nepo's work. This season symbolizes late-life wisdom, embracing life's realities without illusions, and cultivating joy alongside suffering. The narrative closes with a pitch for the author's spiritual mentoring program, Wise Circles, inviting participants to explore self-awareness, creativity, and connection through a five-week journey.
Key Points:
International Travel as a Turning Point: At 29, the author's first internship abroad in Bulgaria opened up a new perspective and ignited a love for travel. This led to later adventures across Europe and beyond.
Delta Flight Perks: The author and his domestic partner, took advantage of Delta flight benefits, allowing for numerous first-class trips, furthering the exploration of the world.
5th Season Metaphor: Inspired by Mark Nepo’s 7,000 Ways to Listen, the 5th season represents late summer, symbolizing a time of clarity and acceptance. It reflects the idea of shedding life’s illusions and finding joy in the present moment, even amidst pain.
Embracing Dualities: The author speaks about the challenge of holding joy and grief simultaneously, emphasizing how these opposites are intricately connected.
Second Summer Concept: Living in Southern California, the author treasures the period following the official end of summer, calling it "Second Summer," a time to extend warm days, picnics, and presence.
Wise Circles Offering: The author invites listeners to join his spiritual retreat, Wise Circles, a five-week group experience focusing on meditation, creativity, and personal transformation.
Living Fully in the Present: The overarching message encourages embracing the present, recognizing the brevity of life, and cultivating joy and awareness through everyday moments.
TRANSCRIPT
When I was 29 years old, I left the country for the first time. I'd been down to Mexico since I had lived in Southern California, but really left the country. 29 years old. I'm in Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm getting my master's in social work.
It's the summer of 2002, and I decide to apply for an internship in Eastern Europe, Bulgaria. Who had heard of Bulgaria? I had heard of Bulgaria because I had a cousin who was on a mission in Bulgaria for the LDS church. I applied for the internship. I scored the internship, and that summer about 3 months changed my life, opened up my world in so many ways.
It was a paid internship, and I flew from Salt Lake City to Sofia and then drove down about 90 minutes to Blagoivgrad. And I planted myself on the American University in Bulgaria. And not only did I get that experience, but right when I arrived the 1st couple days, some of the faculty, the administrative people I would be working with in student life and services invited me to go for the long weekend on holiday to Greece. So within 10 days, I'm in a little car with new friends heading down to Greece, to Thasos, the Northern Greek Island. It was awesome.
And that summer, I also was able to fly on a small charter plane out of Sofia up into France to Paris, took a train from Paris down into southern France for a conference with people from the University of Utah, some of the faculty. I went back to Paris and spent 5 days exploring Paris, hopped on a little plane, flew to Switzerland, to Barron, Switzerland, spent 5 days with a family friend exploring the stomping grounds, the the the place where my grandparents lived and where my mother had lived until she was 6 years old. It was amazing. And that was a life expanding summer. Fast forward about 6 years in 2,008, and that's the year I really met Harvey's dad, Jay Cates, John Harvey Cates.
And we lived in Utah. We became friends, fast friends. And within a year or so, he was doing his degree at the University of Utah. I was working in social work. I was working at Salt Lake Community College.
He took a job as a Delta person working for Delta out of Salt Lake City Hub. And it means he got flight benefits, and it means that he made the choice to put me on as his, well, domestic partner. We actually had a friendship domestic partnership. This was in 2,008 before the big sweeping 2015, 16 legal legalization of gay marriage. We were set up as domestic partners to assist each other.
Yes. We were taking advantage of the system. We were assisting each other with health care and tuition reimbursement. We were both single, and we said, yes. We are together.
I confess. Will you forgive me? Anyway, back to Delta, back to flight Bennett. I became his travel companion, which means I got free flights. I just had to pay tax, some sort of service tax.
So, meaning, I could fly to Amsterdam on a first class ticket and pay $60 each way or like $100 round trip. I think he got completely waived because he was the employee, but we're talking I went on 1st class flights to Amsterdam, to Southern California, to Hawaii, from LA to we went to Tokyo. We went to Paris a couple times, went through the East Coast to New York. I went on lots of trips to Southern California and Seattle or San Francisco and Portland. It was so cool, and rarely did we have too many issues.
There was one time Jay got stuck somewhere, like, maybe somewhere north in Alaska and got stuck for a couple nights. I didn't. And the funny story that I got a lot of shit for from friends, colleagues that worked with me at Salt Lake Community College is I would, fly first class. We just plan our trips so that we could get a 1st class ticket because you can see what's available. And so, flying to Amsterdam, Jay and I flew to Amsterdam for a few days and coming home, we were scheduling our flights and there was only 1 first class seat.
And so he's like, should we do it? And I'm like, we're in Amsterdam. Mind you, I'm sure we had partied a lot in Amsterdam. Mind you, I'm sure that I had stayed up all night. Yes, doing drugs in Amsterdam.
And so, it's morning, early morning, and I look at him and I'm like, I don't do coach. I don't do coach. And he was like, do you mind if I go? And I'm like, you're gonna leave me here? Of course, I might.
Let's go on the next flight. Can't you just wait for me where there's several first class seats available on a few hours? That's the first time I met that cute part of him that wants to be home, needs to get home, home, home as quick as possible. I don't do coach. So, to round this all up, when I used to go home to Utah, it was difficult going home to Salt Lake City, Utah for me.
Half the year it was winter, half the year it was inversions. I moved to Southern California in 2012. And one of the things I noticed moved back to Southern California, I should say. One of the things I noticed about coming home to Southern California, I never ever feel sad about it. I might feel sad for sure like right now in real time, summer 2024.
I'm missing my East Coast family. I'm missing time with Harvey. She starts 1st grade next week. I haven't I I go from spending so much time and being in the system to being totally out of the system. It's this ebb and flow.
I talked about it in my last podcast episode about learning to sit with our sadness and grief and joy all in one. And this brings me today's podcast topic, which is the 5th season, 2nd summer. When I come home at the end of summer on the east coast and often, even before I was traveling from the East Coast, the end of the summer here in SoCal and Labor Day, the traditional Labor Day holiday, brings us right into, you got it, September, October in Southern California is gorgeous. People are back in school, all the tourists are gone. We have some of our warmest days.
I like to call it my second summer. Yes, I am that greedy and I want more summer, more sun. Truly, it reminds me to extend the feeling, to extend the picnics, to extend my presence. So today I want to share something with you called the 5th season. Oh, that's right.
I found some information about a 5th season. Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to Viral Mindfulness, Welcome to Viral Mindfulness, the podcast. I'm your host, your field guide, Alexander Bluefeather. 2nd summer, why circles are currently open for enrollment.
The magic starts next week. You can imagine how excited I was when I heard Mark Nepo. I was listening to this audiobook before I purchased it. It's called 7,000 Ways to Listen, Staying Close to What is Sacred by Mark Nepo. Many people have heard of Mark Nepo because of his book, The Book of Awakening.
I love this book about listening. So here is the reading from this book. This is on if you have the same edition I do, it's on page 140, and it's called The 5th Season. So I'm gonna read a little bit, and then I'm gonna make some commentary, and I love this idea. So here is the 5th season, Mark Nepo.
Though I am well and hope to live many more years, I am 60 and entering what the Chinese call the 5th season. In Chinese lore, the 5th season is late summer, when the glare is gone and only the color of things as they are can reach us. Only the color of things as they are can reach us. It takes all the seasons to become this bear. All the turmoil to be worn of edges.
All the loss to hold on to nothing. All the seasons to wear our hands open. Landing here, I no longer want things. I only want moments in the sun, in the rain, with you, when confused or sad. I only want to look to what is and tumble into joy.
Together, alone, I want to put down all I've been carrying. I'll pause here and give you some commentary. This is how it feels for me for this 5th season, this second summer, my second summer, I'll be teaching my next round of wise circles from Southern California starting September 3rd and ending October 6th. We'll cross through the equinox, the autumn equinox together. Summer solstice, autumn equinox.
I was just double checking. And this is what it feels like to me where we, if you want to enroll and be a student, we can be in small community together each week for the 5 weeks. I also offer each week a supplementary practice lab that explores the spiritual practices of writing and meditation, drawing, music, movement, and movement includes the body and emotions. And I think it's so cool to extend our time right now, instead of rushing into the fall or winter, to extend summer, to realize that we have an opportunity to touch things as they are, to become bare together in small community. Think of it as group therapy reimagined.
Allow for all of the turmoil, our turmoil, to be worn of edges, for all of the loss that we've had to allow us to hold on to nothing together, to land here together, and to no longer want things for the next 5 weeks, to practice moments together in the sun, in the rain, through the equinox, with the full moon. When confused or sad, I only want to look at what is and then tumble into joy. I love this phrase because it encourages me to do exactly what I was talking about in the last episode. How can I make room for both my joy and my grief and loss and struggle, the difficulties to be inexplicably connected, dancing intimately together? If you want to learn more about Y Circle, there are testimonials, there are program description, a short, well, it's 10 minutes, an introduction video from the Hudson River over at my website atviralmindfulness.com.
I'm gonna continue reading on about this 5th season because there's so many levels and metaphors here. Mark Nepo, continuing on. Like the squirrel that doesn't know what to do with all that it's gathered, We have all of this knowledge. What do we do with all of our knowledge? What kind of listening sources us back to what matters?
Well, maybe the 5th season, maybe 2nd summer is the answer. Continuing on, Mark says, the 5th season of late light marks what the Chinese call the heavenly pivot. A turning point in life. I love this idea that my wise circle offering might be a heavenly pivot for you, a turning point. I know it has been for former students.
Continuing on, Mark says, a turning point in which knowledge is worn into knowing, watching into joining, seeking into being, and struggling with truth is worn into inhabiting the truth of the struggle. The heavenly pivot is a time of transformation that helps us make sense of our experience. All seasons lead to this season, all experiences to this understanding of experience. So whatever cycle of seasons we find ourselves in, from one identity to another, from innocence to maturity, from arrogance to humility, from codependence to individuation, from numbness to compassion, from apprentice to master, from master to beginner. We are being steadily prepared for the 5th season.
Being slowly stripped of our resistance to the heavenly pivot. Yes, Mark Nepo. I love this. 2nd summer, Y Circle, open for enrollment right now. I would love for you to be part of this experience.
I'm blown away with how helpful it is for people who join. And, again, I do have testimonials over at my website where you can read specifically details of how people responded to the time together. I love that it's like a 5 week container, and that this could be a second summer of heavenly pivot. One of the things I'll be encouraging for you from where I'm teaching in Southern California is to extend the glare of the summer to park your phone, to picnic, to create some picnics for the month of September and in the first part of October. It's a lovely time to be out in nature.
So the 5th season, isn't it gorgeous? And, of course, the largest metaphor for this to me is the 5th season being the end of one's life. I don't think I would I don't think I would say that I'm in my 5th season. Here, Mark Nepo is writing at age 60 about it. So maybe when I'm 60, I will officially be in my 5th season.
But I do know that for me, there's this realization that accepting life as it is, that all of what I've been through has brought me to this moment of complete reality. That there's there's no there's fewer illusions than ever. I'm not expecting it all to be great. I'm not expecting to not be in pain as a sober person. I expect myself to acknowledge it, to nurture, to soothe, to create space around it, and then tumble into joy while I'm holding the suffering.
I hope this episode gives you a little bit to think about. May we all be aware that our time is short, and in that, we have an opportunity to live today as if it's our very first day. What if we were to take that attitude? I love the attitude. Live each day as if it's your first to be open, creative, to be childlike.
I'll see you next time here on the podcast. Today's episode has been sponsored by my signature offering, Wise Circles. People sometimes think I'm saying wives, w I v e s. So, yes. Be one of my wives.
Join my circle. Oh, cue the music, the dramatic music. 2nd summer, why circles are open for enrollment. I have a $50 coupon for you, podcast listener, if you're not already enrolled. Actfast50, actfast50, actfast.
You can enter it at the checkout. So think of my Y circle as a group therapy reimagined, a 5 week spiritual retreat without all the patriarchal bullshit. Let's cultivate possibility, presence, and creativity. We'll journey inward together. Stanislavski says, the most exciting and longest longest journey is the journey inwards.
Experience a sacred, ordinary spiritual journey of self discovery and connection. Join my Y circle, a 5 week therapeutic mentoring program designed to nurture your mind, body, and soul. Through practices like meditation, writing, movement, drawing, music, you'll explore new avenues of creativity and self expression. In this intimate, supportive environment, there will be no more than 6 other humans from 3 to 6 people, including myself. You will, 1, deepen self awareness, engage in reflective practices that help you connect with your inner wisdom.
2, cultivate meaningful connections, share and listen deeply in a safe small group setting fostering empathy and understanding. Each week, we meet for a 105 minutes once a week, 1 hour 45 minutes. And each week, you get 10 minutes to share. You'll trust me. You'll be able to figure out this 10 minute share.
It's amazing. You can read some of your writing topics. And finally, you'll empower your voice. You'll discover the courage to express yourself authentically and embrace your unique journey. Each week, you'll experience guided meditations, creative prompts, and heartfelt discussions, all within a circle of supportive peers.
Your enrollment also includes access to prerecorded practice labs and yoga sessions, ensuring a holistic approach to your growth and your experience. So, ready to transform? Yeah. Sign up for my Y circle and step into a space where your soul can thrive. You can enroll at viralmindfulness.com.
Please reach out to me with any questions. I can't wait to circle up with you.
