Despite the trauma, addiction, fear, and shame, there is a still and centered part of you that remains whole.
I have six minutes before my online writing retreat starts.
Hot water near boiling point and I am ready to "begin again."
My healing is in the return and pen to paper feels like home.
During my morning practice I re-read these words and thought they might be of service to you. The questions are particularly poignant.
"We started to recover when we let ourselves believe in the part of us that’s still there beneath all those layers we’ve collected and built—the pure, radiant, courageous heart where we find our potential for awakening.
Who were we before the world got to us?
Who are we beyond the obsession of our conditioned minds?
Who are we beneath all our walls and heartbreak?
Despite the trauma, addiction, fear, and shame, there is a still and centered part of us that remains whole. There is a part of us that’s not traumatized, that’s not addicted, that’s not ruled by fear or shame. This is where wisdom comes from, and it’s the foundation of our recovery.
This persistent dissatisfaction with life, whether dramatic or subtle, was referred to as dukkha in the language of the Buddha’s time, a word we still use today. All humans experience dukkha, but some of us— particularly those of us who have struggled with addiction—seem to experience it on a more intense level, and with worse consequences.
What is addiction but the consistent and nagging feeling of ‘not enough?’
What is addiction other than being constantly unsatisfied?
Siddhartha saw clearly that pain was an unavoidable part of life, and he became determined to find a way to put an end to it. He left his family and tried, for a while, the life of an ascetic—the most extreme opposite to his previous life of comfort and wealth. As an ascetic, he sat in extremely uncomfortable postures meditating for long periods of time. He slept very little. He ate very little. He even tried breathing very little. He thought that, since material comfort hadn’t brought about an end to suffering, maybe the opposite of material comfort would. But it didn’t. Pushed to the brink of death, Siddhartha abandoned the idea of extreme asceticism and instead chose what he came to call ‘the middle path.’
Siddhartha realized that both the extremes of pleasure and denial of pleasure had gotten him nowhere nearer to liberation. Neither extreme had given relief from his suffering. So he set off on his own to meditate. Sitting beneath a Bodhi tree, he meditated deeply and discovered the path that leads to the end of suffering. He looked within himself for his own liberation, and he found it.”
--Recovery Dharma: How to Use Buddhist Practices and Principles to Heal the Suffering of Addiction
May you carve out a few minutes before bed time and look within.
Yours Bluely,
Alexander
PS
My first watercolour gallery show is LIVE on the inter-webs. Have you taken a mindful-minute to explore the collection? Purchase an original piece of art by Monday, December 5, and receive a FREE 5X7 original of ‘The House of Blue Coat of Arms’ ($45 Value).
